In Orange County, California, people who have been through divorce probably agree that divorce is a difficult process. Finances are at stake and the future full of uncertainties. The process itself is also full of emotions, which can certainly affect or derail even an amicable split.
As emotions run high, it is important for divorcing individuals to acknowledge these feelings as part of the process. This in turn allows spouses to manage their emotions, allowing them to overcome the hurdles that may arise from the legal process. However, delving too much into these emotions can backfire and result in an outcome that is not beneficial for the divorcing individuals or the children.
The first step in managing one’s emotions is flexible thinking. In divorce, each party’s ideas matter. Fighting over the first idea can result in an unending court battle, which is both costly and emotionally draining. It is important for divorcing individuals to hear each other’s thoughts and be open-minded with new proposals that could benefit them.
Second, divorcing spouses should do a ‘self-check.’ Whenever a divorcing spouse is having a meeting with the other spouse, he or she should check how he or she reacts whenever the other party is suggesting or proposing something. If the spouse always feels upset whenever the other party suggests something, then it is time to change his or her attitude. Acting out of anger will not yield favorable results.
Finally, focus on the big picture. Make a list of the goals during divorce and plans once the legal process is finished. If a spouse wants an amicable divorce, focusing on the goals will allow him or her to set aside his or her emotions and reach an agreement with the other party.
Readers who are considering divorce may want to reach out to a family law attorney who can guide them throughout the legal process.
Source: Huffington Post.com, “Divorce confidential: managing your emotions during a divorce,” Caroline Choi, Mar. 13, 2014
