As you prepare for divorce, keep these things in mind

Making the decision to divorce might have been one of the most stressful things you’ve ever done; then again, perhaps you found it an easy decision to make, but you’re worried about what your and your children’s future will be like. If you know someone who has gone through a similar experience, you can talk to that person to seek recommendations, depending on what worked or didn’t work when he or she was trying to come to terms with divorce and move on in life.

In addition to things you might want to do as you navigate divorce proceedings and lay the groundwork for your life after divorce, there are some situations you might want to avoid. It’s also a good idea to have a support team lined up, should you or your kids need some extra help as you cope with the life changes you’re going through.

Things to avoid after divorce

You know what’s best for your children and your own good health. However, considering what has helped others who’ve trod similar paths might put you one step ahead of the game as you learn to adapt to a new lifestyle. Here are some things to keep in mind:

• Don’t try to handle everything on your own. It’s probably best for you and your kids to reach out for support from counselors, friends, family members or legal advocates, as needed.
• Resist jumping back into the dating scene too soon. It’s okay to take time to just be with your kids and, together, find your new normal.
• You may not want to be married to your spouse any longer; however, since you have children together, it’s best to avoid speaking negatively about your co-parent, especially in front of the kids, and especially with regard to posting on social media sites.
• Although you might feel a certain sense of liberation as you move on to a new lifestyle, be careful about making any drastic changes — to your physical appearance, for example — that you might regret later.

Some people make the mistake of rushing into big changes, perhaps prompted by the idea that they no longer have to weigh their decisions against another person’s opinions; however, more times than not, it is better to take things slow and allow yourself time to navigate all the emotions that typically accompany divorce.

Other issues that may arise

Besides all the intensely personal aspects of divorce, you are likely to encounter legal obstacles, as well. What if your ex doesn’t abide by the terms of your custody and parenting plan? What if the other parent is supposed to pay child support but is failing to? These are instances is when it pays to have an experienced family law attorney on your side, fighting to protect your rights and the best interests of your children.