Achieve the respectful divorce you need with proper guidance

For those who have never personally been through a divorce, the idea of divorce often holds unnecessary negative associations. Like many difficult experiences in life, divorce can be as civil and calm as you and your spouse allow it to be. Divorce experiences can range from a couple deciding to go their separate ways and filing uncontested divorce to spouses digging in their heels and fighting for every last scrap in the marriage. In most cases, it is one or both spouses who choose the direction the divorce may lean.

If you want a calm, civil divorce, you have the authority to choose that. Even if one party in the marriage wants to burn everything to the ground, they are not in charge of your responses. You can choose to pursue the divorce you want and can act within your conscience until the matter finalizes.

Should both parties in the divorce want a calm, respectful process, then it is a good idea to sit down with an experienced divorce attorney and discuss a plan for keeping things civil. It might prove helpful to write out a simple document that places terms on each person’s behavior, such as restricting discussing the matter on social media. If you have children, be sure to consider how any actions you take may affect them. Divorce is not a free pass for bad parenting.

Unfortunately, many couples who could achieve a calm, civil divorce jump straight into battle formations, creating an aggressive stance that is difficult to pull back. Before your divorce even starts, or before it runs off the rails, be sure to consult with an attorney who understands how to shepherd you through this season and foster a healthy atmosphere in your divorce. Yes, you really can achieve a healthy divorce, if you are willing to make it priority and seek out proper guidance who understands your divorce goals.