Infidelity: What prompts it and where does it lead?

Most spouses would agree that when they got married, they expected their partners to be faithful. Marriage can be tough, as life experiences, health problems, financial problems and any number of issues can weigh heavily on a relationship, especially regarding intimacy. Marriage largely consists of an ebb and flow of daily interactions between two people who have committed themselves to providing companionship, support and fidelity to each other for the rest of their lives.

If your marriage is thrown off course by infidelity, it can change your whole life. Such situations usually cause deep hurt, and many spouses decide they would rather end their marriage than stay in a relationship where a spouse has broken trust. Perhaps you have no proof that your spouse has been unfaithful, but you suspect it. Before taking any action, it is always best to carefully assess your circumstances and to think ahead about what options are available and which would best fit your needs and ultimate goals.

Relationships can be vulnerable

Many people who have been unfaithful in marriage later say they never planned to have an affair, but it just sort of “happened.” The following list includes marital issues that often lead people to seek affection outside their own relationships:

• Is your spouse always on a phone or computer? Many spouses say they feel lonely when their partners excessively use their devices.
• Raising a family can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. But having kids can also put a great strain on a marriage, as parents may feel fatigued from the daily routine, have less time to devote to each other, and find themselves disagreeing over child-related issues.
• Pornography is a problematic issue in many marriages. It can be a form of addiction and it often winds up leading to extra marital affairs, as well as divorce.
• Infidelity doesn’t just plague younger or newly married couples. Many older spouses experience mid-life crises and find themselves attracted to the idea of doing something daring, such as having a secret relationship with someone other than their spouse.

If you or your spouse discovers the other having an affair, you must decide where to go from there. Sometimes an affair sheds light on marital problems that couples overlooked or swept under the rug, and spouses decide they want to fight to save their relationships. On the other hand, infidelity often leads to separation and divorce.

If that is the path you take

The emotional scars of infidelity run deep. You may want to seek support by confiding in someone who has been through a similar experience. In fact, your community may have a support group to help spouses hurt by affairs cope with their feelings. In addition to emotional support, it’s important to consult with a California family law attorney and discuss any and all legal matters related to your specific situation.