Don’t make your child’s special day about your divorce

When parents divorce, there is always the temptation to fight with each other over parenting time and the rights and privileges each parent has toward the children. While it is usually heartbreaking from the outside looking in, many parents seem to believe that visitation schedules or lifestyle practices actually are the hills on which they want to make their last stand. Unfortunately, when parents choose to create conflict over parenting, it is the children who suffer the most.

Many children grow up in this tension, folding into how they cope with and understand the world. Sadly, many parents can’t seem to let these patterns go, even when their children near the end of their time at home, or even into young adulthood. If you and your children’s parent argue constantly, it is high time to make an effort to overcome this pattern.

If your divorce is just now coming to fruition, even though your children are nearing the end of high school, or graduating college, or maybe getting married themselves, you may struggle to maintain perspective. If you are navigating your divorce as your child is getting ready to graduate, get married, or reach some other important life milestone, you should do everything you can to ensure that the special celebration is truly about your son or daughter and not about you.

For many parents, they simply need to be told plainly about their selfish behavior in order to change course. However, divorce has a way of complicating even well-meant gestures, and often professional guidance is necessary. If you and your spouse can’t seem to agree on how to support your child without creating conflict between you, do not hesitate to seek the guidance of a professional mediator.

A professional mediator can help you both work together for the sake of your child, achieving the divorce you need while ensuring that all parties have the necessary tools to be the strong, loving parents you know you can be.

Source: Mill Valley Patch, “Your Divorce Is Not Part Of Your Teen’s Graduation,” Susan Schena, May 15, 2017