Helping your children cope with the impacts of child custody

Child custody is something that is often hard for children. Going back and forth between parents can be tough. There might be times when the child is with one parent and wants to be with the other parent. Handling these situations is a sensitive matter. Making plans for working through this now might help you to approach the issue calmly later.

First, validate your child’s feelings. Let your child know that it is perfectly normal to want to be around his or her parents. Explain that missing their other parent is fine. You should put child at ease and help him or her work through expressing the feelings that are creeping up.

Second, take a deep breath and remember that this doesn’t mean that you are a bad parent. Many times, the child might miss the other parent just because he or she isn’t with the parent at that specific moment.

Third, find out why the child wants the other parent. Did you and the child have a disagreement just before the realization? What specific event led to the child wanting the other parent? Does the child want the other parent or just the lifestyle that comes along with that parent’s home? Finding out those answers can help you considerably.

Fourth, let the other parent know what is going on. Your child might just need to have a video chat or phone call to move past the desire to go to the other parent. It is up to you and your ex to determine the best ways to help your children when they want the parent they aren’t with at the time.

Source: Our Family Wizard, “How to Respond When Your Child Wants Their Other Parent,” accessed Dec. 22, 2017