Life after divorce depends on mindset

By |2022-03-25T08:13:47+00:0002 Aug 2013|Categories: Child Custody, Divorce, Emotions, Property Division, Spousal Support|

Life after divorce is a challenge for most people. It brings up a wide range of emotions, few of them enjoyable. Sadness, anger and resentment are among the most common-and these are often triggered by post-divorce issues such as property division and settlement, child custody and spousal support.

Unfortunately, for many people these feelings linger far longer than they need to. But according to one personal development coach, they don’t have to. Here are a few ways to move past them.

Forget about who left who. It’s hard, but look at the separation as a positive development. Divorce means the relationship wasn’t working.

See divorce as a way to keep your children from experiencing all the emotional problems that come with parents who are unhappy about their marriage.

Don’t turn away family and friends while you go through divorce. Most of them will be more than happy to support you, even when your emotions seem out of control.

Engage in worthwhile activities that you enjoy. These do a lot to drive away negative feelings.

Avoid negative people and negative situations. This also means keeping focused on the present rather than reminiscing about the past and what might have been.

As 12-step groups are fond of saying, “Fake it until you make it.” Telling yourself everything will be all right may be hard to do and even harder to believe, but over time it can mean the difference between feeling bitter and feeling hopeful about the future.

Support groups and other resources are almost always available for divorcing and divorced couples. Surviving the challenges of life after divorce depends on your point of view and decisions about how to approach the future. As such, divorce can be seen as one step toward a better life.

Source: Huffington Post, “Divorce Advice: How To Have A Happy Divorce,” Dr. Lisa Kaplin, July 22, 2013

About the Author:

Dorie Anne Rogers - The Law Offices of Dorie A. Rogers, APC
Dorie A. Rogers, a Family Law Specialist, Certified by the State Bar of California, has been an attorney since 1981 with an exclusive family law practice located in Orange County. She is accepting dissolution cases with support and property issues including the use of forensics to ascertain business value, community interests and to establish monthly case flow analysis. Ms. Rogers has substantial experience in high conflict custody litigation involving sophisticated psychological issues. She drafts premarital and postmarital agreement designed to define and establish parties' separate and community property interests. Paternity cases and domestic violence matters are considered part of her practice. Ms. Rogers is a court-approved and court-appointed to represent minor children.Ms. Rogers consults with individuals concerned about entering or exiting a relationship. She advises effective strategies for dissolution or premarital planning. Knowledge is power and good planning affords better results.Specialties: Family Law Specialist, Certified by the State Bar of California
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