Life after divorce is a challenge for most people. It brings up a wide range of emotions, few of them enjoyable. Sadness, anger and resentment are among the most common-and these are often triggered by post-divorce issues such as property division and settlement, child custody and spousal support.
Unfortunately, for many people these feelings linger far longer than they need to. But according to one personal development coach, they don’t have to. Here are a few ways to move past them.
Forget about who left who. It’s hard, but look at the separation as a positive development. Divorce means the relationship wasn’t working.
See divorce as a way to keep your children from experiencing all the emotional problems that come with parents who are unhappy about their marriage.
Don’t turn away family and friends while you go through divorce. Most of them will be more than happy to support you, even when your emotions seem out of control.
Engage in worthwhile activities that you enjoy. These do a lot to drive away negative feelings.
Avoid negative people and negative situations. This also means keeping focused on the present rather than reminiscing about the past and what might have been.
As 12-step groups are fond of saying, “Fake it until you make it.” Telling yourself everything will be all right may be hard to do and even harder to believe, but over time it can mean the difference between feeling bitter and feeling hopeful about the future.
Support groups and other resources are almost always available for divorcing and divorced couples. Surviving the challenges of life after divorce depends on your point of view and decisions about how to approach the future. As such, divorce can be seen as one step toward a better life.
Source: Huffington Post, “Divorce Advice: How To Have A Happy Divorce,” Dr. Lisa Kaplin, July 22, 2013