Just like marriages, divorces take two people. If one person tends to engage in high-conflict or dramatic behavior, the chances of an amicable divorce are less likely. The following are the common personality types that tend to result in high-conflict divorces, and what you can do to cope with these types of people.
The Narcissist
Narcissists are those people who believe that the world truly revolves around them. They are unable to empathize with anyone who has a different point of view or way of thinking than them. They completely lack the ability to handle situations where they are not in control or being given inordinate amounts of attention. They typically have difficulty setting boundaries and invade the emotional space of others. Within the setting of a divorce, narcissists typically blame everyone else and blame their ex-spouse for absolutely everything. As perfectionists, they need everything to adhere to their definition of perfect and oftentimes, children suffer.
If you are facing a divorce from a narcissist, you may have an uphill battle ahead of you, lasting far longer than the actual divorce. Make sure to manage how you react to the narcissist and do not throw emotional fuel on the fire. Never take anything they say personally because their view of reality is truly distorted. Finally, try to just discuss the facts regarding a specific situation instead of injecting any subjective information or even your point of view.
The Borderline Personality Disorder
People with borderline personality disorders fear healthy relationships but also fear abandonment. They generally fall into patterns of unhealthy commitments with those around them and see the world in black and white. In an instant, their mood can change, and with it their reactions. One minute, they may not want you to ever leave them, and the next minute they hate you. They may feel that they are being abandoned by you or their children due to the divorce and call or text non-stop to attempt to gain control or a feeling of closeness.
If you are facing a divorce from a person with a borderline personality disorder, you should always try to empathize with their emotional swings, but still maintain healthy emotional boundaries. A person with a borderline personality disorder has a challenging time attempting to regulate their emotions, so do your best to regulate yours. While it is difficult to not get sucked into their emotional whirlwind, try to keep a level head to avoid the drama.
Helicopter Parent
Many parents feel terrified and anxious about their children, but there are certain parents who have unreasonable fears regarding the safety of their kids. These parents will “helicopter” and hover over their children to try to keep them safe through overbearing controls over the child’s environment.
If you are facing a divorce from a helicopter parent, you will need to try to set boundaries early, and ensure that the parenting plan in the divorce is strictly followed. Make sure to let your ex-spouse, as well as your children, know that in your house, you make the rules and they have no authority there.
Contact an Experienced Divorce Attorney
If you are facing a high-conflict divorce, contact the Law Offices of Dorie A. Rogers at 714-500-8428 or online today for a consultation and to help you make decisions regarding how best to proceed to ensure the most amicable divorce possible.
