Child custody and other “fighting terms” encountered in a divorce

Child custody and other “fighting terms” encountered in a divorce

Words greatly influence human behavior. Kind words can soothe an individual in distress and demonstrate compassion. Insults, on the other hand, can invoke anger and hostility. Taken in the context of family law, there are some words that evoke a negative reaction and among them are divorce, visitation and child custody.

For the benefit of Orange County, California, readers, it is essential to break down why those words elicit such negative reactions. Obviously, divorce itself gives out negative responses since it involves separating spouses. But more than that, it could be because in a no-fault divorce – which California permits – underlying emotions and feelings are often not properly addressed.

Meanwhile, child custody invokes negative behavior since it is perceived as a “fighting term.” In other words, it is associated with control and power, especially sole custody, which is awarded by the court to a specific parent. Sole custody strives to give a parent care and control over the child. Similarly, while joint custody may seem like a fair and just concept, it becomes a fighting term when one parent desires custody and the other spouse does not.

Another term is “visitation.” Visitation rights can leave a non-custodial parent disconnected, limited and left out. Visitation can also make a non-custodial parent feel like he or she has an unnatural and awkward relationship with a child.

In an effort to eliminate the negative terms and their effect on divorcing couples, those terms are often being replaced with conciliatory terms like “parenting plan,” “parenting arrangements” and “time-sharing.”

Nevertheless, whichever terms are used, Orange County parents should remember that what is most important is the best interests of the child. Discussions and disputes should be held under the same premise. Guidance from an experienced and supportive family law professional may help ensure the best possible outcome for the child and the divorcing parents.

Source: Huffington Post “The Power of Words,” Mark Baer, Aug. 5, 2013

About the Author:

Dorie Anne Rogers - The Law Offices of Dorie A. Rogers, APC
Dorie A. Rogers, a Family Law Specialist, Certified by the State Bar of California, has been an attorney since 1981 with an exclusive family law practice located in Orange County. She is accepting dissolution cases with support and property issues including the use of forensics to ascertain business value, community interests and to establish monthly case flow analysis. Ms. Rogers has substantial experience in high conflict custody litigation involving sophisticated psychological issues. She drafts premarital and postmarital agreement designed to define and establish parties' separate and community property interests. Paternity cases and domestic violence matters are considered part of her practice. Ms. Rogers is a court-approved and court-appointed to represent minor children.Ms. Rogers consults with individuals concerned about entering or exiting a relationship. She advises effective strategies for dissolution or premarital planning. Knowledge is power and good planning affords better results.Specialties: Family Law Specialist, Certified by the State Bar of California
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