It can be difficult to think about having to communicate with an ex for years while you raise children together. Coming to terms with this reality might help you to see that you can work as a team to help the kids thrive. As you do this, you must ensure that you don't allow your ex or situations to trigger your anger. Being able to stay even keel can greatly benefit the situation.
In order to stay calm when issues occur, you need to make note of your triggers. Determine how you can address those ahead of time so that you aren't struggling to find a strategy in the heat of anger. If you find that you are having trouble, be willing to take a few moments to gather your thoughts before speaking out.
You and your ex both need to focus on what is best for the children. Try to not to personalize or internalize what your ex is saying. Remember that they might honestly think that they are doing what is best for the children. Issues with the children should be addressed using a mentality of teamwork so that you can formulate a plan together.
While you are communicating with your ex, keep the focus on the problem and solutions. Avoid blaming and finger pointing since those won't be beneficial. Instead, think about ways that you can help with the issue. Even if your ex is the one who is responsible for it, your job as a parent is to help your children.
For some people, having conflict resolution methods outlined in the parenting plan might be beneficial. Be sure you carefully consider every point in the plan, so you can ensure they are what's best for the children.