Many couples decide to stay together for the sake of their children rather than get a divorce. While there has been a lot of research done on the effects of divorce on children, there has been far less on the effects of staying together for the kids.
According to a University of Southern California (USC) professor emerita of sociology, it is best to ask how the marriage is effecting the kids. She said, "We tend to focus so much on how divorce affects children, but you have to remember they'll have had 18 years of living inside of their parents' marriage."
The older children can react in a number of way when they are told of their parents' divorce. For some, the news can come out of nowhere. The kids never had any idea there were any problems between their parents. For one woman, being blindsided by her father moving out over Mother's Day weekend and realizing all the planning he put into it was enough for her not to speak to her father for the past 13 years.
One man who is now 34 wishes his parents had just split up when they were ready to divorce. He said, "A marriage is really important, precious thing. But I'm convinced everyone can be happier if you don't drag it out."
Another woman, who is now 38, grew up with her parents tossing the "D-word" around all the time. When the separation finally came, no one was really surprised. It took some time, but now the two adults can talk and be at the same grandchild's birthday party without fighting.
If you are ready to divorce, but are concerned with how your children will cope, perhaps it is time to consider therapy for them and for you. An experienced divorce attorney can provide suggestions for therapists or counselors in the Orange, California, area. In addition, your attorney can also help you get through this difficult time by making the process as easy as possible for you.