PARENTING PLAN TERMS MUST BE SET BASED ON THE CHILD’S NEEDS
Even though you and your ex are the ones who are divorcing, that decision has a big impact on your children. Everything that they’ve known is changing and they might not be sure how to handle that. When you decide to divorce, you and your ex should sit down with the kids and explain the situation. You don’t have to get into why you are divorcing but you should reassure them that they aren’t the cause. We know this might be an ongoing struggle, but the kids should be able to continue to enjoy life.
One thing that might help you to encourage the children to find the positive side of the divorce is being able to give them a plan for what is going to happen. You might not have a permanent child custody plan, but you should have a temporary agreement about how things will work. Relay this information to the children so they know what to expect. Just make sure that you don’t set unrealistic expectations for anything.
Another way you can help the children is by letting them know that you fully encourage them to have a meaningful relationship with their other parent, as well as extended family members. Some children worry about making good memories with one parent. They worry that the parent who wasn’t there will be upset or sad, so making them realize that you approve of their good relationship with the other parent can help them to feel more secure.
As you are working on the permanent parenting plan, you should remember some of the things you learned during the time since the divorce. We can help you to review the options that you have so you might be able to find something that works.