In a prior post, we warned our readers about the perils of dating during the pendency of a divorce. Essentially, the emotional complications could lead to additional reasons for couples to fight over custody and parenting time. However, the reality is that life goes on after a split, and people will eventually find comfort in someone else. When that happens, it is important to manage it deftly.
This post will introduce a few helpful tips.
Set boundaries – If the new person is introduced as a “friend”, then the person should stay that way. Kids tend to know more than they let on, so it is likely that they will figure out what your relationship really is with the person in due time.
Take your time – Ideally, your love life should not be broadcast to the kids; so waiting a while before introducing a love interest to kids is alright.
Have the first meeting on the kids turf – The first meeting with a new love interest should be on a play date at a park, or during a pizza party. This way, the child is not forced into meeting the new person.
Growing pains may be in order – Don’t be surprised if the new love interest is viewed as a threat to your child’s time with you.
Tell your ex first – This may be easier said than done, but breaking the news to your ex initially may be easier than having him or her find out through another source. Also, kids who may be forced to harbor a secret may be distressed at the notion of breaking it and getting in trouble.